A whole night off!
I am the sort of person that rents movies and returns them unwatched because I never got around to it. King Kong sits on my dining room table, taunting me. You know how primates taunt, right? They fling their turds at you. Kong taunty-turds are big enough to knock over grain silos. I'm running out of silos! Dammit monkey!
Looks like I'm going to be a suburban slave. You might know what I'm talking about- those poor bastards who spend hours a day watering and preening their stupid grass on their postage-stamp plot of land so it is more lush and green than their neighbor who is out doing the exact same thing. I swore that I would never become beholden to my lawn because I hate yardwork and I hate keeping up with the Joneses and I'm allergic to all that's green and flowering. But now we have this brand new lawn coming in that I had a landscaping company install partially out of shame, since we had maybe the worst burnt up weedy mess on the street, and partially out of desire to have someplace where the kids could play without getting shredded up by thorns and nettles. Every day I've got my garden hoses and my sprinklers working early in the morning and late in the evening, the symbols of my new indenture to the tiny bright green filaments that are starting to pop out of the muck. I can't stop sneezing. I don't plan on being able to do this as well as most of my neighbors who are all retired and have nothing better to do all day than make their lawns glisten like perfect fucking emeralds in the noonday sun. I must say I'm making lots of friends though. I think it must be like this for women after they have a baby, it's like they've joined some exclusive club and suddenly are friends with all the other mommies and have so much to talk about. I stand out front with my hose in my hand like the chain around my neck it is and wave to all the other jackasses who will also be watering their lawns every day until they drop. I don't like these guys at all. But I can't stop watering, the grass will die!
Baxter can't touch his back yard, let alone pee on it, for like weeks. I've got a run set up in the driveway for him, but that isn't sitting well at all. He sulks all day. {Frowny face goes here.}
Happy! FINALLY my Venture Bros. Season One DVD's showed up from Amazon! They were held up in shipping, and it was just killing me. I will make time to watch these- life can go on hold for a while. This and Veronica Mars are the first teevee shows I've thought enough of that I needed to own them. I'm considering buying Battlestar Galactica too, but probably not. It's fun to watch and all, but I don't think I'll get that much more out of it through repeated viewings. I was really amazed at how much more I caught watching Veronica Mars' first season again knowing the eventual outcome. That show is amazing. Plus I have deep, sticky feelings for Kristen Bell. I was so relieved to learn that she's a 20-something that only plays a teenager on TV, because for a while there I was feeling guilty about the filthy, awful things that I was thinking about her and what I made the naked voodoo puppets I fashioned in our images do. Those puppets- they're insatiable.
Ooooh- in that world
where there are no pants and I AM KING OF ALL I
SURVEY.
Alternate caption
#1: VOODOO!
Alternate caption
#2: guh
whoaa momma
Anyone heard this song by B.R.M.C.? It's The
Balls.
Yes AMY, my kids are fronting an indie rock band.
Actually, the fact is that I cut some of their hair
like a year ago and by Becky's reaction you would
have thought I'd chopped off their fingers. I totally
didn't! It was just some hair! Jesus- never
again. They will be some shaggy lil' devils.
